To quote a famous person "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result". Is it really worth our mental capacity to try and change things? It is survival mode.
So, things are quite uncertain again, I might be out of a job as soon as 3 weeks later or a month, or maybe more. It seems like trying to find a definite answer is quite hard too. In a way, I am kind of looking forward to the end. Sure, I'll have to worry about finding another job and continuing my quest to become a Permanent Resident in Canada (it seems like this is a hard an long process) but to be honest, this job has really taken a toll on both my physical and mental capacity. It is getting harder and harder for me to wake up that Tuesday morning and flying onto site, leaving my other life on pause, while I work.
The last couple months, I have found myself to get cranky and annoyed a lot easier. My patience, which was once as great as that of the Great wall of China, has now really weathered to the strength of a thin string. So, I am really looking forward to go back to Edmonton, to rest, to re-focus and to re-discover the old me. I really dislike how I am the last year and a half.
It is time to go back to the very beginning of time, where I was a happy go lucky person, who doesn't think too much and just enjoy life. I need to believe again.
A part of me says this, do I need that permanent resident? Can't I just go travel Europe and work as I need be. Leave everything behind and just go and travel and backpack. That life is kind of appealing as well.
All in all, I have a lot to think about. What do I want to do in the New Year. Where I can go. Is Canada really the place I want to be in. The world is so big, there are so many opportunity.
I will let you know what I end up deciding.
posted by bcaiwong @ 8:00 p.m.
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